odonovan
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Communicate only in catchphrases? Word.
Imagine a game show where contestants are only allowed to converse using annoying catchphrases: “You rock!” Contestant 1 barks out. “You had me at ‘hello,’ ” Contestant 2 snaps back, determined to win. Thus starts the fierce competition: “You’re not the boss of me.” “That’s what …Read More
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Do it yourself? Now you’ve done it!
The telephone trembled as my husband approached it with a screwdriver. The microwave muttered, “Poor dude can’t even dial himself to call 9-1-1.” He dislodged the telephone from its base and began gouging at wires. Thus, our plunge into the abyss known as Do-It-Yourself Repairs …Read More
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It feels like we’re all just hanging on for deer life
After dropping off my youngest at basketball practice, I headed toward Golf Road and home. It was between dusk and dark, and I could barely see the tawny animal on the median. Eyes slowly blinking, head raised, she appeared stricken, trying to get up on …Read More
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Phones getting smarter while people stay same
I steer the van into the service department. A 20-something man greets me with moussed hair and pungent cologne. After I give him the keys, he inspects the interior, his gaze resting on the 10-year-old VCR unit. That VCR hasn’t worked since I yelled at …
Looking for a perfect fit at mall? Remote chance
My friends, I’m en route to the 2012 Erma Bombeck conference in Dayton, Ohio, and because I’ve put on weight (stifling sobs, reaching for tissues), I need spiffy new clothes. At the mall I pass the trendy section of teensy-size zeros, summoning my courage. Pretend …Read More
